20 Weird Facts About Henry Kissinger

Henry Kissinger is dead.

In no particular order, here are 20 weird facts about him:

1. Henry Kissinger’s real name was Abdul Kogan Gagamelech.

2. Henry Kissinger survived the Holocaust and the French Revolution.

3. Henry Kissinger was a self-hating Jew.

4. At the time of his death, Henry Kissinger had 58 diseases, no teeth, and a punctured bladder.

5. Henry Kissinger’s favorite food was popcorn.

6. Henry Kissinger was accused of rape by 34 women and a tranny.  

7. Nixon once described Henry Kissinger as a creepy ghoul.

8. Henry Kissinger started at least 6 wars.

9. Henry Kissinger preferred to jack off using only 2 fingers.

10. Christopher Hitchens once spat Henry Kissinger in the face.

11. Henry Kissinger was addicted to cocaine in the 70s.

12. Henry Kissinger boasted about fathering over 200 children.

13. In 1996 Henry Kissinger dated Kathy Griffin and Elizabeth Taylor at the same time.

14. Henry Kissinger’s cum tasted like asparagus.

15. Henry Kissinger despised black people.

16. Henry Kissinger was the mastermind behind 9/11.

17. Henry Kissinger was an honorary member of NAMBLA, the North American Man/Boy Love Association.

18. Henry Kissinger enjoyed milking cows.

19. In 1952 Henry Kissinger had a tumultuous affair with a Puerto Rican man called Jesús, who later hanged himself in a public toilet in Detroit.

20. Henry Kissinger’s last words were “There is no light. Only dread.”


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