Apple Is So Cringe

Prepare to cringe like you never cringed before.

God this is so fucking retarded and embarrassing, not to mention gay.

I watched the video twice and all I want to do now is burn down a forest – and I will! I swear I will.

We’ve planted forests… Paraguay, Brazil… and we’ve also restored mangroves in Colombia… grasslands in Kenya…

I will burn them all!

Fuck trees.

And fuck Apple – these scumbags are the worst.

The odious Tim Cook to a fat black Mother Nature:

As you can see, we’ve innovated and retooled almost every part of our process to reduce our impact on the planet.

How about you innovate the appalling working conditions at Foxconn you son of a bitch?

Foxconn, where the slaves assemble overpriced Apple products in abject misery and kill themselves by the boatload (those suicide nets didn’t do much after all).

Then the obligatory close-up on his dumb face:

But there’s still a lot more work to do.

That shit line again? Really, Tim? Haven’t we heard it a million times already? You couldn’t come up with anything different? Anything at all?

You fucking hack!


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