Xi Jinping Executed By The Communist Party Of China

According to the CIA and other intelligence services, Xi Jinping, the President of the People’s Republic of China, was removed from power by shadowy Communist Party officials on Saturday and put under house arrest.  


The King’s First Day

On September 10, 2022, Charles Philip Arthur George woke up as King.

Still in his royal pajamas, he walked to his mother’s coffin in the adjacent chamber and stared at her corpse for a while. The Queen was naked in the coffin and her bush was enormous; it looked like a stray cat got stuck in her twat.


The Queen Is Dead

Queen Elizabeth II, the longest-reigning British monarch, has died peacefully aged 96 at Balmoral castle in Scotland.

Her last words were “Hitler did nothing wrong”, which surprised everybody in the room.


Harry Styles Spit On Chris Pine – And Now They Are Gay

Chris Pine and Harry Styles attended the premiere of “Don’t Worry Darling” in Venice dressed as pompous gay software engineers. The movie is predicted to be a flop, but the recent controversy might turn out to be beneficial.


Chileans Reject New Progressive Constitution

According to the Chile Electoral Service, 62% of voters rejected the proposed progressive constitution in a referendum on Sunday which would have put a strong focus on social rights, indigenous rights, gender equality, sexual diversity, environmental regulation, and, evidently, climate change. 

The Chilean people basically said fuck all that shit.  


Black Lives Matter Leader Accused Of Stealing $10 Million From Black Lives Matter

In the famous words of DJ Khaled: “Aaaaaand another one!”

Shalomyah Bowers, a prominent leader of the Black Lives Matter movement, is accused of stealing more than $10 million from the Black Lives Matter Global Network Foundation (BLMGNF) in an explosive lawsuit filed in Los Angeles by the Black Lives Matter Grassroots Movement (BLMGR).