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Cara Delevingne Has Hit Rock Bottom

I love out-of-control celebrities. I celebrate their downfall and eventual death. Seeing their lives falling apart due to drugs, alcohol, disease, or retardation, brings me so much joy, it really does. They make me feel so good about myself.

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White Ariel Is Better Than Black Ariel

A black actress plays Ariel in Disney’s upcoming dumpster fire The Little Mermaid – that’s unacceptable. Hans Christian Andersen is rolling in his grave. Everybody knows that mermaids are white, there’s no question about it. A black mermaid makes no sense, whatsoever.

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I’m Sick And Tired Of Meghan Markle

I’m sick and tired of Meghan Markle.

This bitch gets almost as much press coverage as the dead Queen and the new King at the moment – and it’s driving me nuts. It’s preposterous. Enough already! She’s just a goofy broad who happens to be Harry’s wife. She shouldn’t matter. Both of these idiots shouldn’t matter. 

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Lizzo Is Oppressed

During her acceptance speech for the “Video for Good” award (whatever that means) at the VMAs, which apparently is still a thing, Lizzo went full retard:

This morbidly obese swine is oppressed.

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