Fighting back tears and blood sugar, Brian Stelter humiliated himself on air one last time and went straight home. He wanted to be alone during this difficult time so he made sure that he was alone. Still emotionally unstable, he retreated to his bedroom where he ate 3 chocolate cakes and jacked off to animated lolicon porn, which alleviated the pain a notch.
“Nobody will ever hire me again!” he said out loud after a long period of introspection, and started crying.
Then he stripped naked, tied a rope around his neck – and jumped!
Brian Stelter was hanging from the ceiling, fat and pathetic, like a whale from a crane, when suddenly the ceiling collapsed.
When he emerged from the rubble, he had a ghastly wound on his bald head and a revelation: “I’m gonna start my own show on YouTube!”