Keep Fit

Ford, the automobile man, stated in his testimony before the Industrial Commission that he gets more and better work out of men at eight hours a day than at ten.


The Burden Of Humor

What is the origin of the prejudice against humor? Why is it so dangerous, if you would keep the public confidence, to make the public laugh?


Held In Bondage

“A young man married is a man that’s marred.” That’s a golden rule, Arthur; take it to heart.


A Piece Of Chalk

I remember one splendid morning, all blue and silver, in the summer holidays when I reluctantly tore myself away from the task of doing nothing in particular, and put on a hat of some sort and picked up a walking-stick, and put six very bright-coloured chalks in my pocket.


My School Days

Looking over my own school days, there are so many things that I would rather not tell, that it will take very little time and space for me to use in telling what I am willing that the carping public should know about my early history.


Subconscious Fears

A young man writes me that he is afraid of thunderstorms, and asks if there is no way for him to overcome this weakness. “I am normal in every other respect,” he adds, “but notwithstanding my endeavors to fight off this nervousness I find it to be of no avail; it appears to be a sort of subconscious fear.”


The Sabbath Of A Great Author

I awake at an unearthly hour on Sunday morning, after which I turn over and go to sleep again. This second, or beauty sleep, I find to be almost invaluable. I do it also with much more earnestness and expression than that in the earlier part of the night. All the other people in the house gradually wake up as I begin to get in my more fancy strokes.


Halloween Blackface

If I were living in America I would dress up as a minstrel from the 19th century for Halloween, blackface and all.



If there is one thing more than another, after the possession of the thirteen classics, on which the Chinese specially pride themselves, it is politeness.


The Fall Of Days

There is a fall of days as there is a I fall of leaves. I do not know what wind, blowing from the infinite, shakes the years, and sends falling from them one by one the sere and yellow days.


The Supreme Moment

“But Leonardo,” says one writing upon the genius of the incomparable da Vinci, “will never work till the happy moment comes—that moment of bien-etre (feeling just fit) which to imaginative men is a moment of invention. On this moment he waits; other moments are but a preparation or after-taste of it.”



I have discovered where heaven is.

Wherever you are, it is somewhere else.


Absolute Enlightenment

I drove on the bleak streets of the city, a cool breeze in my face, meditating on senescence and the universe, on my way to a feast.


The Ethics Of Controversy

Everything is disputable. I am willing to entertain arguments in support of any proposition whatsoever.

If you want to defend theft, mayhem, adultery, or murder, state your case, bring on your reasons; for in endeavoring to prove an indefensible thing you discover for yourself how foolish is your thesis.


Another Day In Paradise

I wake up late again, uncharacteristically sad and inept.

I have a cheese omelet for breakfast and watch the news. They’re still arguing over who bombed that hospital full of people in Gaza. The Palestinians blame the Israelis. The Israelis blame the Palestinians. I can’t tell them apart so I hate them both.




What a haughty and dignified Lucian returns to us from his journey! He will not vouchsafe us a glance; he stands aloof, and will hold no further communion with us. Altogether a supercilious Lucian! The change is sudden. Might one inquire the cause of this altered demeanour?


’Tis the work of Fortune.


Mad – Quite Mad

It has frequently been observed that genius and madness are nearly allied; that very great talents are seldom found unaccompanied by a touch of insanity, and that there are few Bedlamites who will not, upon a close examination, display symptoms of a powerful, though ruined intellect.


The Unconquerable

Reporters in the war-smitten countries of Europe tell us that one effect of the horrors of death, wounds, and heartbreak is that the men are turning back to the churches. Out of the obscene muck of materialistic force is springing a revaluation of the spirit in man.