Why He Left

Mr. Dickson, a colored barber in a large New England town, was shaving one of his customers, a respectable citizen, one morning, when a conversation occurred between them respecting Mr. Dickson’s former connection with a colored church in that place:

“I believe you are connected with the church in Elm Street, are you not, Mr. Dickson?” said the customer.


Elon Musk’s Meeting With Recep Erdoğan Didn’t Go Well

The Supreme Leader of the Magnificent Republic of Türkiye, the Honorable Recep Tayyip Erdoğan, may Allah bless him with good health and a long life, summoned Elon Musk yesterday at the Turkish House, his personal skyscraper in Manhattan, to discuss a collaboration opportunity.


I Think I Trust You Enough To Tell You This Secret

I think I trust you enough to tell you this secret. To find the Gray Fox go to the garden of Dareloth in the Waterfront District of the Imperial City. Look for a boarded-up cottage on the east side of the garden, near a big oak tree.


Pissfeather’s Story

When the Europeans came to America they stumbled upon hordes of savages who were nonstop raping and killing each other.


Obama Marveled At The Parthenon

Barack Obama visited the awe-inspiring Parthenon in Athens recently, one of the greatest monuments of the ancient world still standing today, and he was awe-inspired all right.


Obama’s Drowned Chef

Jamal is standing on the corner, glued to his phone. Deiondre approaches him with a limp.

— Whatchu doin’ nigga?

— Chillin’ nigga. Readin’ this shit about Obama’s chef.


When Volodymyr Met Greta

Volodymyr Zelenskyy was getting bored. He snorted a line of coke and sunk deep into his leather chair, massaging his weary face meticulously.


Bill Clinton Confessed His Sins To The Pope

Bill Clinton met with Pope Francis in Vatican City and confessed all his sins.

The old-timers exchanged gifts and talked joyfully about baseball and whores, but once the cameras stopped rolling, they sullenly retreated underneath the Apostolic Palace to perform the eldritch ritual of the Sanguineous Saints.


Elliot Page Is The Gay Tupac

Elliot Page is a hero and an inspiration.

I’ve just finished reading her new memoir Pageboy and I am outraged – outraged I tell you! – about what happened to this poor woman last winter in Chicago.


Madonna Was Left For Dead

The night came.

Madonna guzzled a bottle of Jack, snorted 6 lines of coke, and ran naked through the streets of New York, bawling obscenities and clawing anyone who stood in her way.