At last, Charlie Sheen has revealed what everyone on the planet pretty much knew since his AIDS diagnosis: he had sex with men.
And it all started because of… crack.
That’s what started it. That’s where it was born, or sparked. And in whatever chunks of time that I was off the pipe, trying to navigate that, trying to come to terms with it — Where did that come from?… Why did that happen? — and then just finally being like, so what? So what? Some of it was weird. A lot of it was fucking fun, and life goes on.
Weird… and then fun… and then life went on for Charlie… as a gay man.
Which begs the question: is Charlie a top or a bottom?
When I heard the news, I immediately imagined Charlie as a top: frantically fucking a hairy man-ass with no condom, high as a kite, eyes bloodshot, a cigarette hanging in the corner of his mouth – and it was hilarious.
Then I imagined Charlie as a bottom: lying on his back, spread eagle, his face all confused, his mind full of regret… and it was disturbing.
So disturbing that I threw my crack pipe out the window and vowed to never smoke crack again.
Oh, Charlie…
