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Madonna Was Left For Dead

The night came.

Madonna guzzled a bottle of Jack, snorted 6 lines of coke, and ran naked through the streets of New York, bawling obscenities and clawing anyone who stood in her way.

When the clock struck midnight, she stopped in front of a synagogue and hissed. Eyes gleaming, the Queen of Pop defecated in her palms and began scrawling swastikas on the walls with her shit.

But the synagogue was not empty.

A rabbi watched the appalling scene and fainted; another rabbi had a heart attack and died. The rest of the Jews ran for their lives.

Madonna howled at the moon.    

A group of Black Israelites who were preaching hate nearby mistook her for a gargoyle and savagely beat her with pipes, then left her for dead in a dumpster.

When the police finally found her in the morning, Madonna was lying unconscious in garbage next to a homeless guy with no pants.

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