Mysterious Chinese Laboratory Uncovered In California

When the authorities stormed a supposedly empty warehouse in Fresno County, California, they found laboratory equipment and 20 half-naked Chinese nationals listening to Livin’ La Vida Loca on repeat.  

They also found herpes, hepatitis, Ebola, tuberculosis, gonorrhea, diabetes, COVID, AIDS, 924 lab mice, 61 rhesus monkeys and 8 black people. The animals were kept in appalling conditions, in cages, beaten and malnourished.

But little did they know what they would stumble upon next.

In the back of a dimly lit room, chained to a wall, there was a creature that had the body of a black man, the head of a monkey and a huge tail, missing the penis and a nipple.

When an officer approached to get a closer look, the creature bloodcurdlingly sighed “Please kill me kind man” and the officer fainted.

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