Casemiro Already Regrets His Manchester United Move
Everybody was shocked when Casemiro left reigning champions Real Madrid, the best football team in the world, for Manchester United, who is drowning in mediocrity.
(more…)I’m Sick And Tired Of Meghan Markle
I’m sick and tired of Meghan Markle.
This bitch gets almost as much press coverage as the dead Queen and the new King at the moment – and it’s driving me nuts. It’s preposterous. Enough already! She’s just a goofy broad who happens to be Harry’s wife. She shouldn’t matter. Both of these idiots shouldn’t matter.
(more…)The King’s First Day
On September 10, 2022, Charles Philip Arthur George woke up as King.
Still in his royal pajamas, he walked to his mother’s coffin in the adjacent chamber and stared at her corpse for a while. The Queen was naked in the coffin and her bush was enormous; it looked like a stray cat got stuck in her twat.
(more…)The Queen Is Dead
Queen Elizabeth II, the longest-reigning British monarch, has died peacefully aged 96 at Balmoral castle in Scotland.
Her last words were “Hitler did nothing wrong”, which surprised everybody in the room.
(more…)Harry Styles Spit On Chris Pine – And Now They Are Gay
Chris Pine and Harry Styles attended the premiere of “Don’t Worry Darling” in Venice dressed as pompous gay software engineers. The movie is predicted to be a flop, but the recent controversy might turn out to be beneficial.
(more…)Thank God Rishi Sunak Didn’t Become Britain’s Prime Minister
The wait is finally over.
Liz Truss will be the new prime minister of Britain, succeeding a fat albino gorilla who resigned in disgrace in July after a series of scandals.
(more…)Chileans Reject New Progressive Constitution
According to the Chile Electoral Service, 62% of voters rejected the proposed progressive constitution in a referendum on Sunday which would have put a strong focus on social rights, indigenous rights, gender equality, sexual diversity, environmental regulation, and, evidently, climate change.
The Chilean people basically said fuck all that shit.
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