R.I.P. Ebrahim Raisi

Sad news, folks.

The President of the Glorious Nation of Iran, Ebrahim Raisi, a.k.a. The Butcher of Tehran, has died in a mysterious helicopter crash in the mountains.

R.I.P., my nigga.


The Death Of Garfield

From a memorial oration delivered by James Gillespie Blaine in the House of Representatives on February 27, 1882.


The March Of The Shadows

I went to see my friend in the hospital. He had been there a month, with a bad foot. His only locomotion was being lifted from his chair to his bed and back.


Matthew Perry Is Dead

Sad news folks, Matthew Perry is dead.

He reportedly drowned in a jacuzzi – but how the fuck do you drown in a jacuzzi?