The prisoner in this case, whose name was Dickey Swivel, alias “Stove Pipe Pete,” was placed at the bar, and questioned by the Judge to the following effect:
Judge: Bring the prisoner into court.
Pete: Here I am, bound to blaze, as the spirits of turpentine said, when he was all a fire.
(more…)
The other day, while I was meditating on morality and Mr. H. Pitt, I was, so to speak, snatched up and put into a jury box to try people. The snatching took some weeks, but to me it seemed something sudden and arbitrary. I was put into this box because I lived in Battersea, and my name began with a C. Looking round me, I saw that there were also summoned and in attendance in the court whole crowds and processions of men, all of whom lived in Battersea, and all of whose names began with a C.
(more…)
Karmelo Anthony was sentenced to 35 years in prison for the murder of Austin Metcalf.
This nigga got off easy.
(more…)
Judge:—“Constable, bring in the next witness!” (Constable beckons to a man by the door to step up.)
Judge:—“What is your name?”
Peter:—“Peter Lerch.”
(more…)
Greta Thunberg was unceremoniously thrown overboard by the crew of a Gaza-bound flotilla after she was caught eating food provisions destined for starving Palestinian children, according to multiple sources.
(more…)
Nepal is the kind of country that should be bombed for no reason. But I’ll give you a reason: Nepal is a communist country. Was a communist country.
(more…)
“The average prisoner, approaching the moment of execution,” says Dr. Mereness, “is in a mental haze or wild delirium produced by the fear of death. In two instances, however, this was lacking. Both men, after being strapped in the chair, said: ‘Good-by, Doc!’”
The minute hand on my watch indicates 5:44 a. m. I am standing in a direct line with the chair.
(more…)
Remember Dorian Johnson, the illiterate buffoon who sparked the “Hands Up, Don’t Shoot” hoax by lying about Michael Brown’s death in 2014?
(more…)
Comedy writer and anti-tranny crusader Graham Linehan was arrested yesterday for… posting tweets.
Yeah.
(more…)
Congressman John K. Hendrick of Kentucky, now deceased, was notoriously soft hearted.
(more…)
Into the judge’s empty office came the attorney for the defense, followed by his client. The attorney for the defense wore belligerent hair and spectacles. His manner was more upright and simple than his speech, which was full of guile.
(more…)
A man forces his way into the stronghold of a tyrant, with the intention of killing him. Not finding the tyrant himself, he kills his son, and leaves the sword sticking in his body. The tyrant, coming, and finding his son dead, slays himself with the same sword.—The assailant now claims that the killing of the son entitles him to the reward of tyrannicide.
(more…)
The history of human growth and development is at the same time the history of the terrible struggle of every new idea heralding the approach of a brighter dawn.
(more…)
Joe Biden will not be charged for mishandling classified documents because the U.S. Department Of Justice has concluded that he has “diminished faculties in advancing age”.
(more…)
