Stove Pipe Pete

The prisoner in this case, whose name was Dickey Swivel, alias “Stove Pipe Pete,” was placed at the bar, and questioned by the Judge to the following effect:

Judge: Bring the prisoner into court.

Pete: Here I am, bound to blaze, as the spirits of turpentine said, when he was all a fire.

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The Twelve Men

The other day, while I was meditating on morality and Mr. H. Pitt, I was, so to speak, snatched up and put into a jury box to try people. The snatching took some weeks, but to me it seemed something sudden and arbitrary. I was put into this box because I lived in Battersea, and my name began with a C. Looking round me, I saw that there were also summoned and in attendance in the court whole crowds and processions of men, all of whom lived in Battersea, and all of whose names began with a C.

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The Chair

“The average prisoner, approaching the moment of execution,” says Dr. Mereness, “is in a mental haze or wild delirium produced by the fear of death. In two instances, however, this was lacking. Both men, after being strapped in the chair, said: ‘Good-by, Doc!’”

The minute hand on my watch indicates 5:44 a. m. I am standing in a direct line with the chair.

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