Klaus Schwab’s Ritual

Klaus Schwab went to a field last night and sacrificed 6 goats, 3 mules, and a Chinese baby.

It snowed heavily, and he was naked – but he did not tremble; fresh blood keeps him warm.

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The Jizz King

During his tour of Samoa, King Charles III visited the remote village of Siumu, where he partook in a ritual that involved drinking a ceremonial beverage called kava.

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The Zulu Witch-Finders

English Law now reigns in Zululand, and the occupation of the Witch-finders is almost gone; but in times past they were potent personages, whom an enslaving superstition had armed with despotic influence.

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Lex Fridman Has Gone Missing In the Amazon Jungle

The last broadcast of Lex Fridman.

The popular podcaster has disappeared in the Amazon jungle and is now presumed dead.

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Bill Clinton Confessed His Sins To The Pope

Bill Clinton met with Pope Francis in Vatican City and confessed all his sins.

The old-timers exchanged gifts and talked joyfully about baseball and whores, but once the cameras stopped rolling, they sullenly retreated beneath the Apostolic Palace to perform the eldritch ritual of the Sanguineous Saints.

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