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Thank God Serena Williams Is Finally Retiring

At long last, Serena Williams announced her retirement from tennis because she’s old and keeps getting her ass kicked by younger broads, but the world’s #407 ranked player tells us otherwise in an interview for Vogue.

Believe me, I never wanted to have to choose between tennis and a family. I don’t think it’s fair. If I were a guy, I wouldn’t be writing this because I’d be out there playing and winning while my wife was doing the physical labor of expanding our family. Maybe I’d be more of a Tom Brady if I had that opportunity. Don’t get me wrong: I love being a woman, and I loved every second of being pregnant with Olympia. I was one of those annoying women who adored being pregnant and was working until the day I had to report to the hospital—although things got super complicated on the other side. And I almost did do the impossible: A lot of people don’t realize that I was two months pregnant when I won the Australian Open in 2017. But I’m turning 41 this month, and something’s got to give.

Jesus Christ this bitch is always complaining.

She’s more man than woman (I have yet to see a DNA test) and has dominated this sport until a few years ago, making a gazillion dollars in the process, but she tells us it’s not fair.

What a load of horseshit.

You know what’s not fair, stupid – those biceps that are bigger than your husband’s.

Quit whining and go fuck yourself.

SPARE SOME COIN

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