The editor of the local paper was unable to secure advertising from one of the businessmen of the town, who asserted stoutly that he himself never read ads, and didn’t believe anyone else did.
“Will you advertise if I can convince you that folks read the ads?” the editor asked.
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Two sailors were winding up a rope, and did not finish as quickly as they expected.
“Where in the world,” cried one of them impatiently, “is that end?”
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Professor (examining a student): “And how do you protect yourself against impure water?”
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An officer fell from his horse in a public square. A Jew standing near said: “This would never have happened to me!”
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Jimmy Kimmel’s wife was getting fucked by a bunch of black guys.
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Some people are bright enough to enjoy a good joke, but do not have retentive memories, so as to be able to repeat it to others. Failures of this kind are sometimes very ludicrous. We give some good specimens.
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Congressman John K. Hendrick of Kentucky, now deceased, was notoriously soft hearted.
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Every time the Government takes a census this story is revived, which means it enjoys a rejuvenated popularity at intervals of ten years. When I catch myself laughing at it, I know that another decade has slipped by.
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The officer of the day was inspecting the guard.
“What are your orders?” he inquired of a drafted man.
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What is the origin of the prejudice against humor? Why is it so dangerous, if you would keep the public confidence, to make the public laugh?
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